I've been thinking a lot about this post since it came out - and specifically about the ways those of us who are parents can perpetuate this culture with our own kids (and further create burnout in our own lives) by over-scheduling our kids. Spring seems like a time where this happens a lot - and I notice it among almost every parent I know. No one has time for themselves, not because they are working on weekends or in evenings, but because what little time they aren't working is given over to shuttling their kids to lessons, practice, concerts, games, etc. What are we telling our kids when we do this? Even if we SAY we resist "the cult of being busy" in our work lives, how do our actions as parents demonstrate this?
Yep, totally. This is a great perspective! So important to think about how we're modeling this behavior as parents (and all areas of our lives). Always good to reflect on how can we better teach our kids the value of slowing down and making choices rather than trying to do it all.
I loved the post. For me, in stressful times, to regain my agency is key. The first step is always to write all tasks down and to face thus reality. Even this can feel really scary but if done, it is always a good feeling. And the central question I ask myself is if the task/job could be done by anybody else or if I can bring in my special qualifications and my unique view. I am quite clear about my ambition and where I want to contribute to change in the museum field but as a freelancer I also have to consider which job gets paid well so the temptation to accept some jobs too fast is great. Therefore it is essential for me to pause from time to time and to ask myself: what is really really REALLY important to me? And thanks, Mike, for the final image taken from the film, being a small stone in the universe... it is quite powerful. And, Bel, yeah, 'if they judge, this is not my flock': thanks for that!
I'm so glad you shared, Ariane. A big "woo hoo!" to you for asking these questions and focusing on what matters most to you.
I know what you mean about how scary it can be to write down all of our tasks and projects -- I can remember many times when I've done that (especially when I worked in a museum institution) and just felt immediate overwhelm, almost like I was drowning. But it's a great place to start, and realize that something's gotta give. And once we start trimming things away, making choices, and setting boundaries, we feel a strong sense of agency (like you said) and control.
I also really like your question of "does this task/job bring in my special qualifications/view, or not?" As a freelancer, we've got to find ways to decide which work to focus on, which things to say "yes" to, and which things to say "no" to (always so hard, but an essential skill).
Finally, I give you (and everyone) permission to just be a rock sometimes. We all need that. For me, since I live in the Pacific Northwest, I can sometimes go out to the mountains and immediately feel tiny. But we can even just look up at the night sky, see all the stars, and get that feeling of being a rock.
Hi Mike, your message came in the exact moment me ment when I'm having an honest review of priorities and setting myself the incredible hard task to review all the open projects and either canceling or rescheduling what can or should wait. Wait for me to be OK, wait for me to be less stressed about doing it all.
And it's extreeeemely hard. A shift of commitment that comes with an enormous fear. Of being judged, not accepted, cancelled, etc.
Today, I chose to push back a workshop on a apparently unique opportunity. And I chose it because I am exhausted and overworked. It felt too late to push, and embarrassing, but I'm exhausted and that can't be good.
I want to invite more the thinking of "if they judge, if they see me as less, than I'll know this is not my pack, my flock, my people. And it wil be OK.
Breathing and hoping others will join me on your beautiful invitation to change!
Bel, thanks for sharing these thoughts. So good to hear from you.
Congrats on pushing back a project -- I recognize how difficult that can feel, and (as I mentioned) it's important that we learn to celebrate this for each other. So I'm sending you a big "Woo Hoo!"
I recently read Brianna Wiest's book "The Mountain Is You" (recommended to me by someone in the Agents of Change community), and it helped me think more about how many times we do things based on what others think -- rather than what's most important to ourselves. Bravo to blocking out what others think and whether they judge. Yes, anyone who judges you is not your people!
Be the strongest you that you can be, breathe, and continue to prioritize yourself.
I've been thinking a lot about this post since it came out - and specifically about the ways those of us who are parents can perpetuate this culture with our own kids (and further create burnout in our own lives) by over-scheduling our kids. Spring seems like a time where this happens a lot - and I notice it among almost every parent I know. No one has time for themselves, not because they are working on weekends or in evenings, but because what little time they aren't working is given over to shuttling their kids to lessons, practice, concerts, games, etc. What are we telling our kids when we do this? Even if we SAY we resist "the cult of being busy" in our work lives, how do our actions as parents demonstrate this?
Yep, totally. This is a great perspective! So important to think about how we're modeling this behavior as parents (and all areas of our lives). Always good to reflect on how can we better teach our kids the value of slowing down and making choices rather than trying to do it all.
Hi Mike, hi Bel, hi all,
I loved the post. For me, in stressful times, to regain my agency is key. The first step is always to write all tasks down and to face thus reality. Even this can feel really scary but if done, it is always a good feeling. And the central question I ask myself is if the task/job could be done by anybody else or if I can bring in my special qualifications and my unique view. I am quite clear about my ambition and where I want to contribute to change in the museum field but as a freelancer I also have to consider which job gets paid well so the temptation to accept some jobs too fast is great. Therefore it is essential for me to pause from time to time and to ask myself: what is really really REALLY important to me? And thanks, Mike, for the final image taken from the film, being a small stone in the universe... it is quite powerful. And, Bel, yeah, 'if they judge, this is not my flock': thanks for that!
I'm so glad you shared, Ariane. A big "woo hoo!" to you for asking these questions and focusing on what matters most to you.
I know what you mean about how scary it can be to write down all of our tasks and projects -- I can remember many times when I've done that (especially when I worked in a museum institution) and just felt immediate overwhelm, almost like I was drowning. But it's a great place to start, and realize that something's gotta give. And once we start trimming things away, making choices, and setting boundaries, we feel a strong sense of agency (like you said) and control.
I also really like your question of "does this task/job bring in my special qualifications/view, or not?" As a freelancer, we've got to find ways to decide which work to focus on, which things to say "yes" to, and which things to say "no" to (always so hard, but an essential skill).
Finally, I give you (and everyone) permission to just be a rock sometimes. We all need that. For me, since I live in the Pacific Northwest, I can sometimes go out to the mountains and immediately feel tiny. But we can even just look up at the night sky, see all the stars, and get that feeling of being a rock.
Hi Mike, your message came in the exact moment me ment when I'm having an honest review of priorities and setting myself the incredible hard task to review all the open projects and either canceling or rescheduling what can or should wait. Wait for me to be OK, wait for me to be less stressed about doing it all.
And it's extreeeemely hard. A shift of commitment that comes with an enormous fear. Of being judged, not accepted, cancelled, etc.
Today, I chose to push back a workshop on a apparently unique opportunity. And I chose it because I am exhausted and overworked. It felt too late to push, and embarrassing, but I'm exhausted and that can't be good.
I want to invite more the thinking of "if they judge, if they see me as less, than I'll know this is not my pack, my flock, my people. And it wil be OK.
Breathing and hoping others will join me on your beautiful invitation to change!
Bel, thanks for sharing these thoughts. So good to hear from you.
Congrats on pushing back a project -- I recognize how difficult that can feel, and (as I mentioned) it's important that we learn to celebrate this for each other. So I'm sending you a big "Woo Hoo!"
I recently read Brianna Wiest's book "The Mountain Is You" (recommended to me by someone in the Agents of Change community), and it helped me think more about how many times we do things based on what others think -- rather than what's most important to ourselves. Bravo to blocking out what others think and whether they judge. Yes, anyone who judges you is not your people!
Be the strongest you that you can be, breathe, and continue to prioritize yourself.